Vacant Stare

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I still remember the day
So very long ago
Completely out of place
And feeling so alone

Then someone approached me
Asking for a date
I was thoroughly enraptured
And easily took the bait

I happily followed him
And he took me for a ride
And I tried to conceal
All my giddiness inside

We made it to his place
Faraway but safe and sound
And a very nice apartment
Was so pleasantly found

Still there was something
Very odd and somewhat strange
But my mind couldn’t see
That his was deranged

He tried to seduce me
But we had only just met
And I wasn’t the kind of girl
Someone could easily get

He then tried to calm me
Luring me into one of his rooms
And that was the place
Where I eventually met my doom

Closed door behind me
There was nowhere else to go
He began to saunter over
Real nice and slow

A devilish kind of look
Flickered in his eyes
Leaving me feeling worried
And very much surprised

His intentions were clear
Even though mine were not
And he began to kiss me
Though I begged him to stop

I knew I was trapped
There was nothing I could do
Pinned to the bed
My panic only grew

Why was this happening
Why was I even there
So I left my worldly body
Leaving behind a vacant stare

Turning off my emotions
Was all that was left
My body laid there unmoving
So cold and bereft

When it was all over
He wanted even more
I’d become his prisoner
So he continued to explore

Another room chosen
This time his very own
Forcing me to comply
I felt helpless and alone

Imagining myself
Somewhere far away
Was all I could think to do
On that perilous winter day

Thankfully I cannot remember
His name or even his face
Every feature of his has vanished
From my mind without a trace

But what he took
I did not freely give
And that everlasting day of torment
I still sorrowfully relive

I was left a broken mess
And I let him get away
And that’s what still haunts me
To this very day

© 2017 Michelle Cook


For a month full of writing prompts click here! – Vacant Stare

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35 thoughts on “Vacant Stare

            1. Yeah… it’s been really hard. I sort of had one of those days today. The reality of it hit me really hard. It’s going to be about 2 years before I live with him again. I’m not handling it very well already and we’re only a month in…. 🙁

              Liked by 1 person

            2. TWO. YEARS. This is why I could never do what those guys do. If I ever had a family, I’d probably die from not seeing them. Makes you appreciate them even more, but it doesn’t take away the pain. How do you pass the time?

              Liked by 1 person

            3. That’s the thing… feels like I’m dying. Don’t feel like doing hardly anything. Not eating, not sleeping…. Just sort of existing in an inanimate state of being.

              Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s a terrible memory, and one that left me trusting people less. But over the years, the memory doesn’t pain me like it used to. My only concern is that more girls haven’t been hurt. I feel sorry that I never reported the incident. It’s terrible to think of how he might have hurt others. I feel still feel guilt, knowing that my silence may have allowed him to inflict pain on another. Breaks my heart and that’s what hurts me now.

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      1. Oh Michelle, please don’t persecute yourself too much, your own pain has been a life sentence already, and your guilt feelings shouldn’t be your cross to bare. Enough is enough my dear. Your soul is a good one, and “let it be”..

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Aww… thank you so much Ivor. You’re so very sweet. I suppose I just worry, especially since I have 4 girls of my own. My mama instincts kick in and then I just can’t help myself! 😉

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