Rusty Bearings


I have a few things
that I really don’t like.
In fact these are the things
which I most dislike.

They primarily consist
of the nonsensical following.
Some of which
you should never be swallowing.

So here’s the list
of the reviled few.
And I’m wondering to myself
do you dislike them too?

Now here they are
without further delay.
So hold onto your seats
and don’t run away.

Here’s the first one
I just can’t stand.
Let’s start off
with calf’s foot jam.

Is it jelly
or is it jam?
And does it go well with
Christmas ham?

I’ve never understood
why this would be eaten,
And I’d really like to know
the unadulterated reason.

Another thing,
I really do hate,
are the old rusty bearings
found on the front porch gate.

For they make a squeaky sound,
a high-pitched squawky one.
Which leaves me biting my teeth
and gritting my untied tongue.

And now that I’m outside,
I’m reminded of slimy green slugs,
which brings me around to the fact,
that I despise all kinds of bugs.

And I often wonder why,
God made them in the first place.
It sort of makes me question
where he got his taste.

And forget about taste,
how about those pungently perfumed ladies?
Is this what happens
When we finally get to our eighties?

Do we begin to smell
like mothballs and must?
In preparation for our bodies
To turn back into dust?

Oh and I can’t forget
my tremendous love for belly blubber.
One look at that
and I really start to shudder.

And yet I continue to eat
like I’m dining for two,
piling on the pork chops
and gobbling up the beefy stew.

By the end of the holidays,
I’m really hating myself.
Swearing I’ll stop eating
all of the cookies on the shelf.

But do I ever quit?
Nope, not a single smidge.
And by the next year,
I’m really cursing my fridge.

And the last thing I really hate,
is stubbing my toes.
Makes me want to yell obscenities
and tear off all my clothes.

Ok, maybe it isn’t all that terrible,
but it really does hurt.
And it’s especially bad when the pastor
Hears the words that you blurt.

So who’s with me here?
I’m actually being quite sincere.
Do you ever wish things like these,
would forever disappear?

I know this is random
And my words may cause some fury.
So perhaps I should just bury my head,
And move to Missouri.

© 2018 Michelle Cook

For a month full of writing prompts click here!  Rusty Bearings


17 thoughts on “Rusty Bearings

    1. Oh I love her. She is probably my most favorite actress of all time. I actually have something I’ve been working on that she would probably like better. It’s a poem based on my favorite things and written to go along with her song. I really need to finish that one! 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  1. When are you moving !!. Maybe I dislike my sarcasium, and I hate how the media/journalists use sensationalism and looseness of the truth, that hurt innocent, undefendable and vulnerable people, with no apologies or corrections when they are wrong !!

    Liked by 1 person

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