Solitary sufferings

March 7, 2024 ~ ~M ~ 16 Comments

I’m in that place again
a solitary prison of self-pity
dissolving in a room without windows
punishing the portrait of myself

Why do I repeatedly come here
to a place of unnecessary suffering
blotting out every light source
to the detriment of my soul

I’m like a vacant-eyed visitor
destined for undeniable destruction
welcoming a withering existence
as the world shuffles on

I could choose to chase the sunshine
become a ball of light myself
but what’s the fun in sunbeams
who always disappear into the dark

Photo credit: https://pixabay.com/photos/street-lamp-night-solitary-824349/

The lonely place

March 5, 2024 ~ ~M ~ 33 Comments

There’s a lonely place
where you exist
I try to forget you
yet the memories persist

You were once my strength
you anchored my soul
but after everything you said
it all finally took its toll

I remember sinking to my knees
in painful defeat
my perfect image of you
at last shattered complete

I wanted to hold onto the good
but the good wouldn’t stay
and looking back
I’m relieved you went away

Photo credit: https://pixabay.com/photos/tree-field-moon-night-sky-meadow-736884/

Fifty-two

February 28, 2024 ~ ~M ~ 77 Comments

Sometimes
I feel so small
out here
underneath it all
The sky is so vast
every mountain so high
I’m a mere speck of dust
to every passer-by
Insignificant
by design
feeling ready
to resign
Like a splash from a waterfall
an unnoticed drip
splattered upon grandeur
preparing to slip
Yet I wonder
if I could be
a friend
to the mighty sea
As insufficient as I am
I’ve got so many dreams
under the weight of them all
I’m nearly bursting at the seams
Ambitions
overflowing
completely ready
to get going
But the path is never straight
and the journey can be so long
can’t always get someplace
unless you’re really strong
A new age
a new me
I wonder
who I’ll be
I’ve searched my whole life
through a forest of tall trees
looking for all the answers
as if they’re there on the breeze
Just more questions
forever found
scattered lifelessly
on the ground
Wonder if I’ll ever find my way
I’m over halfway through
This is just how life is
when you’re turning fifty-two

Photo credit: https://pixabay.com/photos/woman-path-nature-forest-meadow-2827304/

The point of no return

February 21, 2024February 21, 2024 ~ ~M ~ 27 Comments

I think we all reach a point
A place of exhaustion
A time of misunderstanding
A feeling of not being heard
The scrapping of knees on concrete
Life becomes too much to bear
So we alter our direction
Scrambling for the door
The one we hope leads to peace
I think I’m at that point
And I’m not looking back
I need to find some place
That takes me far away
Miles from this point of discontent
This place of unworthiness
This time of hurting
This feeling of hopelessness
I can’t keep bleeding
for the rest of my life
At some point
it all has to end