Regret

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Sometimes I question
All the things
I lend my heart to
Sometimes I doubt
The sincerity
of my friends
Sometimes I wonder
Why I make
Such illogical choices
Sometimes I wish
I were less foolish
Than I am

© 2019 Michelle Cook

 

Buried

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I try to mask it
But it’s there
Buried deep
But not deep enough
Layers of days
And even years
Piling on top
Pushing it down
Trying to erase
The ugliness
The pain
The absurdity
All the lies
One small dagger
Could put an end
To all the misery
All that I feel
And yet even conviction
Of a self
I hardly know
Could right
All that’s wrong
But doubt stifles
My strength
Yielding both scenarios
Futile and foolish
So I continue
To suffer
In endless silence
Because I fail
To utilize
The power
I myself hold
To change
To make a difference
Even a slight one
But still…
If only I trusted
The outcome
If only I believed
In myself

© 2019 Michelle Cook

Doubt

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My confidence in everything
Often waxes and wanes
Doubt sneaks right in
Trying to take over my brain

I tell myself I’m being silly
But then again maybe I’m not
And perhaps everything I’m doing
Is actually all for naught

And it’s during days like these
That l feel so uneasy
And the more I start to think
The more I get quite queasy

Skepticism is a word
My mind should just forget
Because it likes to stir up trouble
And leave me with regret

I know I shouldn’t let my dubiousness
Get the better of me
But sometimes it’s so hard
With a future we can’t see

Lack of faith in everything
Has always been my trouble
And because I’ll likely never change
I know I’ll always struggle

But I’m not the only one with scruples
And so I try to disregard my concerns
I just need to be patient and wait
For my confidence to return

© 2018 Michelle Cook