Weak

I don’t always feel like doing life anymore.
I am happy, probably the happiest I’ve ever been,
but when the waves of the world toss me around,
I don’t feel strong enough to fight against the currents.
I think I’d rather let myself go with the flow
and be pulled under if that’s where I end up.
If only the turbulent winds would just carry me away
to a place where only love and acceptance exist.
But that is not the life I have been born into,
and that is not the life I’ll ever know.

© 2022 Michelle Cook


Photo credit: https://pixabay.com/photos/black-and-white-photo-blonde-4798345/

Autumn anamnesis

As summer turns to fall,
I find I’m missing you.
Your face I can hardly recall,
yet still, I’m missing you.
And when summer at last returns,
I’ll be lost in all my usual concerns,
but once again missing you,
when that first leaf falls.

© 2021 Michelle Cook


Photo credit: https://pixabay.com/photos/maple-leaves-maple-leaves-autumn-690233/

I keep track of all the days…

I keep track of all the days in between;
the ones when you don’t say you love me.
And during those days,
my heart beats a little less enthusiastically,
the sighs are a little longer,
and my shoulders slump a little more.
Sometimes the longing and the aching
can be almost unbearable.
But then I think back to all the times
when those three little words
were never spoken at all;
all those years filled
with such a lonely longing in my chest.
I know I will never be in that place again
because you always remind me of that
with your steadfast presence every day.
And when that realization hits me,
that you’re not leaving me,
I’m finally able to stop myself from falling,
cradling my mind, and finding comfort
in my own embrace.
It’s in that nurtured state
that I somehow find a way to let go
of the demons which harbor my weary discontent.
And eventually, that nagging feeling
starts to evaporate, disintegrating bit by bit
in every relaxing exhale,
calming a little more in every deep breath.
I’m never quite the same, though,
as my own strength can never carry me
all the way through.
And so I wait patiently until you’re here again,
reminding me that love is more than words.
But because you know I need to hear it,
you expose your stubborn soul to me,
finally giving in to my neediness.
And that’s when my heart explodes
in reassured joy
because your loving words mean everything to me.
And even though I already know you love me,
the reminder frees my soul and refuels my spirit.

© 2021 Michelle Cook


Photo credit: https://pixabay.com/photos/natural-woman-in-park-female-4646384/

Loneliness

Loneliness
it comes in many forms
and I have known them all.
But I think the loneliest times
are when I’m surrounded
by a sea of expressionless faces.
Those empty-eyed, silent beings
always appear to be lost in
mind-numbing, alien-sweeping,
brain-snatching activity.
And if I stare intently enough,
focusing long and hard enough,
I can almost see those denatured
souls being surreptitiously sucked
out of every finger-tapping mortal
who has unknowingly fallen victim
to the technological advances
of our times.
It often leaves me queasy
and fearfully uneasy.
For I must admit that I too,
have fallen subject to the
interest of self-isolation
within the matrix.
Using it as a security blanket
for companionship
because community
no longer exists
within the confines
of my existence.
There are instances
when I do attempt
to turn the world around.
And with desperate breath
I try to disengage
from the illuminated rectangle
nestled nice and neat
between my pale palms.
But then loneliness sneaks in,
finding me once again.
And the screen in my hands
becomes the only life left
to be found.

© 2021 Michelle Cook


Photo credit: https://pixabay.com/photos/portrait-woman-black-and-white-2308893/

There was nothing left to say

Capture

There was nothing left to say,
at the end of that fateful day.

The next morning,
the sky parted as usual
as the birds all sang in unison.
Each one responding
without a trifle
of a pink puffy, cloudy care.

The day lazily drifted by
as the trees did their perennial thing,
each one dancing and swaying
to the sound of the honeybees,
all very eager and harmonious,
in their afternoon endeavors.

Even the flowers
dressed in white,
parading around in their newest,
frilly attire,
couldn’t have been,
more carefree.
Each one so unassuming,
in their leisure,
yet studious displays.

Because like always,
it was just another ordinary day.
Another glorious day
to be alive.
At least that was the case
for everyone, but her.

© 2019 Michelle Cook


Photo credit: https://pixabay.com/photos/tree-dawn-bird-winter-weather-3189333/