struggles

Doubt

~ ~M ~ 12 Comments

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My confidence in everything
Often waxes and wanes
Doubt sneaks right in
Trying to take over my brain

I tell myself I’m being silly
But then again maybe I’m not
And perhaps everything I’m doing
Is actually all for naught

And it’s during days like these
That l feel so uneasy
And the more I start to think
The more I get quite queasy

Skepticism is a word
My mind should just forget
Because it likes to stir up trouble
And leave me with regret

I know I shouldn’t let my dubiousness
Get the better of me
But sometimes it’s so hard
With a future we can’t see

Lack of faith in everything
Has always been my trouble
And because I’ll likely never change
I know I’ll always struggle

But I’m not the only one with scruples
And so I try to disregard my concerns
I just need to be patient and wait
For my confidence to return

© 2018 Michelle Cook

I still believe…

~ ~M ~ 17 Comments

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I’ve pondered happiness a million times
And questioned my future all too often.

I’ve wished for a change to bring about fulfillment
And sought greener gardens which are apparently non-existent.

I’ve hoped for a chance to make my life better
And dreamt of a love that could fulfill my wildest dreams.

I’ve waited for contentment in the midst of my tears
And so often I’ve wilted and faded from the effects of my sadness.

I’ve looked for opportunities in the most likely places
And have yet to find what I’ve been looking for.

I’ve been stabbed with daggers of disappointment
And felt the heart-wrenching sensation of a million dreams being ripped from my soul.

I’ve felt jolts of uncertainty hit me on a regular basis
And time has never changed the emptiness felt in my heart.

I’ve spent years dragging my feet on a path that has led to nowhere
And yet I still continue on this journey because I haven’t figured out what else to do.

I’ve lost inspiration and ambition along the way
And found discouragement to be my only true and trusted friend.

I’ve struggled to find meaning throughout the trials of my life
And bitterness still resides within the creases of my heart.

I’ve been unable to look beyond the confines of my shattered existence
And yet somehow I still believe in the life I’m living and have hope for the future.

© 2018 Michelle Cook

Originally Written, December 2016