Where to even begin?

October 13, 2020October 13, 2020 ~ ~M ~ 38 Comments

She asks why I don’t write
But the pages are very thin
And I know my heavy words
Would do them all right in

So I hold myself back
Hiding what’s within
And even if I did write
I doubt I’d know where to begin

Perhaps I’m just uncomfortable
Being here in my own skin
It’s so hard to be myself
Because of where I’ve been

I’ve lost a lot of who I am
I think I’ve even lost my grin
But that’s the way life often is
Sometimes we just can’t win

Photo Credit: https://pixabay.com/photos/diary-ipad-to-write-blog-workplace-968603/

I once was…

September 18, 2020September 17, 2020 ~ ~M ~ 32 Comments

I once was a child
Left broken and battered
Mostly locked away
As if I never really mattered

I once was a small girl
Always searching for a way
To be free from the shackles
That plagued me every day

I once was a young lady
Just wanting to belong
Only realizing my efforts
We’re pointless all along

I once was a grown woman
Looking for a hand to hold
But after a long, futile search
I discovered I’d become too old

I once was an old lady
Holding onto deep regret
Wishing the good Lord
Would just make me forget

And now I’m a crushed spirit
Dreaming of the past
The life I once knew
Just went by way too fast

If only I’d accepted
The life I’d been given
But instead I just looked down
Never really livin

Photo credit: https://pixabay.com/photos/autumn-hand-leaves-red-puddle-2917472/

Behind forbidden’s door

September 7, 2020September 6, 2020 ~ ~M ~ 29 Comments

Turn this page over
See what’s behind
In-between the creases
I cannot hide
You’ll see my reality
The truth that I face
The depth of my desires
I dare not taste
Each sweeter than honey
These visions I explore
Yet locked in silence
Behind forbidden’s door

Photo credit: https://pixabay.com/photos/fantasy-dark-gothic-dream-woman-4565555/

Let’s leave the past, to live where it died.

August 25, 2020August 25, 2020 ~ ~M ~ 14 Comments

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I keep trying
to forget the past.
To leave all the hurts
buried deep
on that old,
empty road.
The place where
I was deserted,
left choking on remorse.
But everybody
wants answers,
and nobody understands
that I can’t breathe.
And when I’m forced
back on that road,
I can’t heal
or even catch my breath.
The air over there
is stifling.
And so many
broken dreams
are still dangling
in the wind.
I can’t keep
reaching out,
grasping hopelessly
at those lifeless strands.
So please,
I’m begging you,
let’s just leave the past
to live where it died.
Or else this life
won’t be worth living
at all.