pain

Truth be told

~ ~M ~ 26 Comments

I had to say goodbye,
not because of what was said
but because of the unsaid.
Your words just never materialized,
and words being as they are,
the lifeblood of my being,
I began to die from the lack of them.
Long ago, I knew your words so intimately,
but then they remained frozen,
resting frigidly on the tip of your tongue.
And even though I trusted you in earnest
with the conviction of a true believer,
you stopped being as you were,
the truth and spirit in you unrecognizable,
just a breath away from mine.
Your silence flooded my body,
and I was drowned by words
that never surfaced.
You felt empty to me
like ashes in somber refrain.
And the wind took you quietly away from me
on a path that never belonged to me.
It was in that moment I realized
we were never meant to be
because real love speaks
from deeply buried places
and never runs out of words.

© 2023 Michelle Cook

Photo credit: https://pixabay.com/photos/woman-mysterious-field-road-meadow-5718089/

Superficial

~ ~M ~ 17 Comments

Like a geyser, I gush,
spurting my rage,
but it’s all underneath,
turmoil engaged.

From the top of my head
to the bottom of my feet,
the swells of unrest
continue to heat.

The storm grows stronger,
destruction in its wake.
Still, I try to breathe calmly,
fearing I might break.

And nobody ever knows
the misery I endure;
It’s all just a façade,
a superficial blur.

© 2022 Michelle Cook

Photo credit: https://pixabay.com/photos/grief-woman-cry-destruction-pain-5501796/

The devil in disguise

~ ~M ~ 13 Comments

Capture

Sometimes people cure you
of ever wanting them again
because after enough time,
the realness of them
becomes painfully obvious.

And then it’s hard not to notice,
to see past their ugliness,
to find the beauty deep inside.

And I couldn’t see it anymore,
even though I searched
for years and years.

The disturbing nature
of what I found beneath,
left me wondering if I’d ever
had any sensibility at all.

I am now left in disbelief
of how wrong I truly was.
My overall assessment
was so flawed with personal bias.

But love is blind like that,
and he was the master of deceit.
I suppose he’s summed up best
as the devil in disguise.

© 2020 Michelle Cook

Photo credit: https://pixabay.com/photos/angel-devil-evil-daemon-horror-4198383/

Predators

~ ~M ~ 11 Comments

girl-from-behind-1736373_1280

Predators
They lurk
In every corner

Falling victim
To their darkness
Has been
My lifelong plight

But the light,
The truth
Always outshines
The dim

And I will continue
My walk
Toward bright things

Rather than
Succumb
To anymore pain

© 2020 Michelle Cook

Photo credit: https://pixabay.com/photos/girl-from-behind-naked-sexy-fashion-1736373/

Buried

~ ~M ~ 3 Comments

girl-850117_1280 (1)

I try to mask it
But it’s there
Buried deep
But not deep enough
Layers of days
And even years
Piling on top
Pushing it down
Trying to erase
The ugliness
The pain
The absurdity
All the lies
One small dagger
Could put an end
To all the misery
All that I feel
And yet even conviction
Of a self
I hardly know
Could right
All that’s wrong
But doubt stifles
My strength
Yielding both scenarios
Futile and foolish
So I continue
To suffer
In endless silence
Because I fail
To utilize
The power
I myself hold
To change
To make a difference
Even a slight one
But still…
If only I trusted
The outcome
If only I believed
In myself

© 2019 Michelle Cook