Amid the chaos of our cluttered world, sometimes we have only but a past moment, something distinctly different from all the other colorless days. And that one solitary moment, the one we treasure with fondness and love gives us something to cling to when we can no longer see a single thread of light. Those rare moments exist to reassure us during the times when the dark dares to snuff out our light. That one blessed memory is often what unexpectedly sees us through.
His words fester beneath the surface, weary words of disdain and ill repute. But what can I do, and how can I be anything more? For I am just another daughter, a regret still in the making. And my existence is a constant reminder of all he’s ever done wrong.
I miss my America, the land of the free and the home of the brave. Every day I see sadness, war beaten faces from battlefields, found in my own backyard. We used to be one nation united under God. We were indivisible with liberty and practiced justice for all. But how many people even remember our nation’s promised pledge. The allegiance we swore to the flag of our forefathers, is a promise we failed to keep. The roots of our republic have somehow been forgotten and the turmoil caused from present day happenings has torn the unity straight from our hearts. It’s a dishonor to our nation, but even more so a disgrace to our God. Freedom of speech never gave us the right to ruin what our brave forefathers fought to defend.
I keep trying to forget the past. To leave all the hurts buried deep on that old, empty road. The place where I was deserted, left choking on remorse. But everybody wants answers, and nobody understands that I can’t breathe. And when I’m forced back on that road, I can’t heal or even catch my breath. The air over there is stifling. And so many broken dreams are still dangling in the wind. I can’t keep reaching out, grasping hopelessly at those lifeless strands. So please, I’m begging you, let’s just leave the past to live where it died. Or else this life won’t be worth living at all.
Why? Why do I continue? And yet here I sit. Pondering… More pondering… Until I’m near to tears.
And all those things ― the ones the enemy knows will pierce my heart.
He sends them my way…
Again, why? Why is this world allowed to be ruled by such evil?
If I were a god, I’d do away with all of it. Does it give pleasure to the almighty, to see us suffer?
Sharp objects like daggers, of course they hurt. But it’s the soft-edged blade, the one that slips between my ribs, the one I never even notice until it’s too late. This is the enemy’s weapon of choice, the one that devastates my heart. And the damage is irreparable.
You’re the only one who truly ever knew me. I confided in you nearly every day. I whispered to you all my secrets in the dark, and promised you everything my little heart could give. You were the only one who listened every day when the fights erupted. You heard my screams and comforted me the best you could. When I cried my eyes out, spilling out countless tears, you showed me that I was not alone. You never left my side, which always made me feel loved. And you’re still special to me, even though you’re not a living being. I think you’re the only reason I had any hope at all back then because my little girl eyes couldn’t find love or comfort anyplace else.